Chris Benoit DVD

Source: Creepypasta Wiki

When writing Creepypasta about original characters or beloved, fictional characters I think it's safe to say that you can pretty much do whatever you want. I maintain that the best Pastas do stay in the realm of realism (though obviously you can bend it) but when doing stuff like Lost Episodes or made up creatures like Slenderman, you can bend the rules quite a bit more and it can still work.

That is why, I think, you don't see many Pastas (much less successful ones) that deal with real life people or incidents. There is plenty of potential in a few cases, and if done right it takes everything to a whole new level of unnerving, but with police science, autopsies, and the like having improved so much it is hard to really make any of these convincing. We, generally, will know, or at least have some idea of what happened.

Which brings me to today's Pasta, which has the oh so creative title: Chris Benoit DVD.

For those of you who don't know, Chris Benoit was considered one of the greatest technical professional wrestlers of all time by many fans. However, in the year 2007 Chris Benoit committed one of the most heinous acts that any wrestler has ever committed outside the ring, killing his wife Nancy Benoit (some of you may remember her as "Woman" if you watched WCW or ECW) and his son Daniel Benoit. He then took his own life by hanging himself in his weight room.

This has sparked a lot of debate that I am NOT here to talk about; It has also sparked many conspiracy theories that insist that Benoit was murdered ALONGSIDE his family. Could such a theory be turned into a good Creepypasta? Let's find out...
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I've been big fan of pro-wrestling since 1998. My favorite superstar for a long time was Chris Benoit. However, in 2007, Benoit killed his wife, his son and, finally, himself. The incident became highly infamous, resulting in new legislature and a complete cleansing of Benoit's career from WWE's archives. It was also shocking for all those who followed Benoit over the years.

The strangest thing happened on the one-year anniversary of his death. Searching on EBay, I found a Chris Benoit DVD. The price was one dollar, including shipping. I was amazed at such a low price and thought no damage in buying what will most likely be a collector's item in the future.

Firstly, unless this dude got free shipping, it is impossible to find anything on EBay that costs $1 including Shipping; Trust me, I know. I don't care if Cthulhu himself is the seller, it ain't happening. More importantly though, the author actually showed a picture of what this supposed future collector's item is...

I normally wouldn't point this out, but I actually HAVE this DVD set. It only has 2 discs (as most WWE releases tended to have at the time it was released) with one being a, now hard to watch, documentary and the other being purely a match collection.

On the one hand, I'm impressed the author actually decided to show this image as opposed to just ignoring it or just having a case that reads "CHRIS BENOIT" on it, but perhaps that would of been the better way to go. If this dude is a Chris Benoit fan, then he probably should already know about the DVD set, so he should know something is not right right away...

...But I'm getting ahead of myself.

When the box arrived at my house, it was in good condition. It had 3 discs, all seeming in tact and untampered...but in a pocket in the back of the set, I saw another disc. Its label read: 4th DISC: DELETED SCENES AND SPECIAL CLIPS. I wondered if this 4th disc was a new addition, but that never made sense to me, seeing that WWE erased him from their universe. Even in his lifetime, I can't imagine they would dedicate 4 discs to a wrestler made iconic by WCW, considering their own super creation Triple H only got 2 discs in his earlier box set.

See, the dude even admits that something is suspicious but, in true Creepypasta Idiot Hero fashion, he shrugs it off pretty quickly. He should of been suspicious the second he saw 3 discs.

I first inserted the 1st disc on the tray of my DVD player. There was an unusually short documentary, a couple of longer matches and some rather dry bonus features. Then the strangest thing happened. At the halfway point of duration of the current video clip, a pop-up message was displayed. It read: ...Want to see more?

"I've got some footage from the Hulk Hogan sex tape right here and ready to go."

Out of jumpiness I wanted to scream NO. The message then changed. I expected it to read "Go to Disc 2" or something like that. But instead, it read: "...Yes."

"Then it started to show footage of Daniel Bryan, with blood coming out of his eye sockets, going, "YES! YES!! YES!!! YES!!!!! YES!!!!! YES!!!!"

I was like, "What the fuck?" I was scared already. The Disc ejected by itself. I was creeped to death.

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess you put in disc 2 anyway, right?

I checked the set. I saw in the box that the 2nd and the 3rd discs were missing.

I can admit when I'm wrong... So this means you are going to do the dumbest thing possible and put in disc 4 AKA the disc that made you suspicious in the first place, right?

The 4th disc was still in it's pocket. I put the fourth disc on the DVD tray and the feature started.

I know I shouldn't count a second attempt at guessing a "win" but I CAN consider myself a winner for not being a moron like you...

There were strange messages that occasionally popped up on the TV screen. They said "...Do you know who did this?"

A mediocre writer writing a crappy story?

...or "...Chris didn't kill them."

You know, the thing that depresses me most is that I know some easily tricked sap out there looked at this, believed it, and then what on a forum to rant about how this is the "REAL story" behind these murders... Or at least he would have if...

...Again, getting ahead of myself.

These messages lasted two or three seconds. It then showed us the living room of what I assumed to be the Benoit family.

Chris, in the distance was holding something to the dresser in his bedroom. I couldn't tell what it was due to mediocre definition, but I had a damn good feeling what it was going to be. Surely, he lifted it off the dresser, and it turned to be a gun in his hand. He shot whoever was filming him on the first shot. When the cameraman fell and the camera tumbled, I could see that his wife Nancy was filming the event with their son Daniel.

NO! NO!! NO!!! Stop it... Just stop it!

*Leaves room to regain composure. The sound of a head violently banging against the wall can be heard. Returns to the room, blood slowly trickling down from his forehead.*

...OK... Resume...

Then the unexpected happened. Behind Benoit, in the window, there was a man that looked like an agile Gargoyle.

...

*Bites lip. Shakes violently...*

He wore an evil grin to his face. He snatched Benoit's gun. He shot Benoit in the back of the head 15 times in a row. Benoit somehow still seemed barely alive. The Gargoyle was laughing like a Devil.

*Slams a fist on a table* OK, STOP STOP STOP STOP STOP!!!! Just... No. NO! Bad writer, BAD WRITER!!!

I will just recap the rest of this goddamn story so I can go ahead and get to my final thoughts rant, basically, the Gargoyle... Let's just assume it's this one:

Gaze into the face of evil.

He's in the author's house. The author breaks the disc and the Gargoyle vanishes... Because the author doesn't want to kill himself off. He then calls the dude who sold him the disc and the dude reveals ZOMG PLOT TWIST the author is now the demon's vessel... I think. Either way, I'm grateful this is over!

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Final Thoughts: 

I have NEVER been pissed off at a Creepypasta before. Irritated with, yes. Annoyed with, yes. Straight up, boiling pot mad with, no.

Let me be clear, the idea that a demon possessed Benoit and had him commit the murders is fine, if horribly cliche and unreal. I understand it may not be to everyone's taste, and you most certainly have a right to feel that way, but that wouldn't cross my personal levels of taste.

HOWEVER, the sheer stupidity of how it is done here is what pisses me off. Three minutes... THREE GODDAMN MINUTES... of research throws the whole damn Pasta out the window. There is suspension of disbelief, then there is insulting the reader's intelligence.

If you are going to do a Creepypasta based off of a well know, real life incident then take the time to FUCKING RESEARCH IT!!! Make sure your Pasta can have SOME validity. Otherwise, all you wrote is meaningless, non-creepy, non-scary drivel.

The fact that he threw in demonic possession just makes this all the stupider. If some research had been done before writing this, you could of had an OK, not great, not good, but OK pasta here. The demon, using Benoit's body, killed Nancy and Daniel using the methods Benoit actually used in real life (strangulation and suffocation respectively) then have a remorseful Benoit, believing himself to be the culprit for whatever reason, commit suicide. It retains (a little) plausibility AND the demon could be viewed by some (specifically, the people who believe it was due to steroid abuse) as being symbolic for Benoit's own, personal demons resulting in the death of his loved ones.

I feel awkward as hell writing that, believe me, and as I said it still wouldn't of been great, but it would of been alright.

Instead, I feel insulted.

Final Verdict: Over 9000 fits of rage!!!

Well... That was "fun." Wonder what I'll be doing ne-...

*Gets cut off by the sound of a ringing phone. Picks up* Hello...

"Hey Deathedge, it's me... Appy!"

...Oh god no...