Dragonball Z: Vegeta's Revenge

Title: Dragonball Z: Vegeta's Revenge
Found on the Creepypasta Wiki Written by Elicidman
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When I was younger I was obsessed with Dragonball Z. I had read the manga, watched every episode of the anime, and I had lots of Dragonball Z merchandise. I had the action figures, trading cards, and I had even played the video games like Legacy of Goku games on the GBA and Budokai Tenkaichi on the PS2.

Basically, he was a huge nerd. Throughout the story, I will talk about why I really doubt this guy is as big a fan as he claims to be.

When I was watching the Buu saga, I came across an episode that didn't make sense.

Some people believe that no episode in DBZ really made sense.

This was supposed to be after the episode where Majin Vegeta sacrificed himself to kill Buu, but it had the same opening as the Cell saga.

At least he didn't say that the opening had a bunch of weird shit in it. Maybe this won't be so bad after all...

The episode began with Goku playing some card game with King Kai in Other World.

Oh lord, this episode must of been made when DBZ had that really shitty card game.  

Goku and King Kai both had halos so this must have been after Goku was killed by Cell.

Observant. This is the only detail he gets right...

All of a sudden, Vegeta appeared out of thin air. He teleported to Otherworld, I don't know how, but he did.

Who needs a reason for stuff to happen when you can just write it off with a "I don't know."?

This didn't make sense and Vegeta wasn't even dead. The living usually don't teleport to Otherworld and if Vegeta was dead wouldn't he be in hell?

If you are such a big DBZ fan, you would know that "hell" is HFIL in the DBZ Universe. Also people have teleported to Other World before, although I guess to be fair, it hadn't happened before this point in DBZ.

Then I noticed something odd about Vegeta. Vegeta had no pupils, his eyes were like a clear white void of nothingness. Also, there were tears of blood coming from Vegeta's eyes and his skin was a pale grey tone like he was a zombie.

Basically, Vegeta finally embraced his inner emo.

This sent shivers down my spine, I had never seen an episode like this. But I just HAD to keep watching I just had to.

"You ruined me, Kakarot", Vegeta said. "You ruined me..." Goku ruined Vegeta? How so? Out of curiosity I kept watching.

OK, hold up here. That isn't out of character for Vegeta. He also complained about how Kakarot would always one up him at almost everything, and he had plenty of reasons to say Kakarot ruined him, the most notable being that time Goku and his friends defeated Vegeta. Heck, if you really want to get technical, the whole reason Vegeta became a Majin can be traced back to Goku beating him. If this was so "obsessed" with DBZ, he would of freaking knew that!

The screen then cut to black and it showed Gohan doing his homework, then Vegeta teleported into his room. "He ruined me", Vegeta said. "Now I will kill all that he loves!"

"It's not they could just be wished back to life with the Dragonba-... Wait..."

Gohan turned around and saw Vegeta. "Vegeta? What happened to-"

Before Gohan could even talk to him, Vegeta did a straight arm punch into Gohan's chest. His fist went through Gohan's flesh and broke through his ribcage. Then Vegeta ripped a bloody heart out of Gohan's chest, Gohan died in an instant and he fell on his bedroom floor, lifeless and dead.

Vegeta wins... Flawless Victory... Fatality.

I was horrified and disgusting at what had just happened! Why would Vegeta kill Gohan like that? I thought Vegeta cared about Gohan, he practically saved him in the fight against Cell.

Yes, Vegeta cared about Gohan so much... It's not like Vegeta had any other motive to help Gohan... Like... I don't know...

CELL KILLING VEGETA'S FUCKING SON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 I had never seen anything so gruesome on Dragonball Z!

I've never read a more horrifyingly terrible story about Dragonball Z!

 Dragonball Z was violent yes, but there was never anything that gruesome on Dragonball Z! Never!

As long as we don't start having a whole bunch of unnecessary violence, we'll be fi-...

Vegeta was holding Gohan's bloody heart in his hand, he ate the heart like a cannibal and got blood all over his face, then he licked blood off of his mouth.

Ok, CREEPYpasta writers please hear me out. Violence, espically for the sake of having violence, IS NOT CREEPY! AT ALL! Often times, it's just stupid and unless the reader is really young, or maybe if they are brand new to the world of Creepypasta, it just doesn't work.

I felt so sick, I wanted to vomit.

My eyes are vomiting right now.

What kind of sick twisted writer would ever air an episode like this? As soon as this episode started I knew it was just a lost episode they had never aired and just now I had seen why it had never been aired. I kept watching but I regretted it, I wanted to know why anyone would make an episode like this.

Yup, you regretted it, but gosh darn it you had your reasons. Wouldn't looking up the writer or animators online be a more effective way of finding out why this may have been made?

Then Vegeta bent down over Gohan's dead body and pulled on his hair, he ripped his head off and decapitated him. Blood spurted out from the stump where Gohan's head used to be. Then Vegeta devoured Gohan's head completely in a few seconds, leaving only a bloody skull left. Disgusted by this, I fast forwarded this part.

I actually have to give the author credit here; The fact that he thought of fast forwarding the episode not only spares us more pointless violence, but also means he was smart enough to know he doesn't actually have to watch the WHOLE thing.

Vegeta was crouched down over Gohan's bloody skeleton, he had eaten the flesh off of his whole body! I was so disgusted I paused the VHS so I could vomit in a bucket.

A bucket he just so happened to have on hand at the time?

After all that I had seen, I for some reason still wanted to watch, so I hit play.

The reason is because you are an idiot.

Then Vegeta killed Chi Chi and ate the flesh off of her whole body, leaving only a bloody skeleton left. Chi Chi had been pregnant with Goten at this time and Goten was still growing in Chi Chi's uterus. Vegeta killed and ate Goten when he was only a fetus and he devoured Chi Chi's uterus.

Well... that is... different...

I covered my eyes at this part and I was crying. I had never seen anything so disturbing in my life.

Then Vegeta teleported to Kami's lookout. Piccolo, Dende, and Mr. Popo were on the lookout and were troubled by something, as if they knew what had happened.

Or maybe the knew the story they were in.

Piccolo looked at Vegeta and clenched his fists, he screamed with rage, and powered up.

I assume it took up the whole remainder of the episode, and that Vegeta's Revenge is actually a two parter.

Then he lunged at Vegeta and tried to kill him, he could not believe what he had done to Gohan and Chi Chi, and even Goten!

Seeing how Vegeta has always been a little on edge... Piccolo probably should of saw it coming.

Vegeta grabbed Piccolo by the neck and ripped his head off, purple blood spurted out off the stump where Piccolo's head used to be.

I will give him credit for knowing Piccolo, and other Namekians, have purple blood.

I was sad and I started crying because Piccolo was my favorite character and it broke my heart to see him killed in such a gruesome way.

Please; Compared to what happen to Chi Chi and Gohan, this is downright humane.

Mr. Popo and Dende had watched in horror as Vegeta had killed Piccolo, they then panicked and tried to flee. But then, Vegeta grabbed Dende and Mr. Popo by the necks and ripped both of their heads off like they had done to Piccolo. They both screamed in agony and fear when their heads were ripped off.

What Vegeta forgot is that you don't fuck with Popo.

 I started sobbing uncontrollably, I couldn't watch it any more! It was too horrible to watch.

Wait, that wasn't the end of the episode!? Well... that means that this man maybe the only man smart enough to turn off the VHS during a "Lost Episode." Congrats, your prize is my complete and utter hatred. ^_^ You should feel proud.

Crying, I told my dad about everything and he believed me.My dad took the VHS tape and ran it over with his car and destroyed it.

This does make him smarter then the Dad from "Thomas and the Children" but it also makes me wonder if "Lost Episodes" that don't try and kill their viewers have subliminal messaging telling them to run over the disk/tape with their cars.

After this, I never watched Dragonball Z ever again. I am no longer a fan of it anymore, I sold all my merchandise to get rid of the memories, I didn't want to remember it anymore.

An entire childhood ruined by one mind scarring episode.
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Final Thoughts: I'm sorry if this one came off a bit more hate filled and ranty then my past ones, but this Pasta was a huge let down for me, as a friend had praised it to me and urged me to read it. Just because it doesn't have the number of writing fluff ups that other Creepypastas has doesn't make it good, it just means that the writer is somewhat capable. The only issue I really have with it is that it ignores a few facts about the show and that it went into the overly violent pasta department. A whole slew of Pastas fall into this, and it is unfortunate because it causes future Pasta writers to mimic it. I hope, I really hope, that writers of Pasta will start to avoid it.

Still, it's not the worst thing I've read... Far from. So I guess I'll give it...

Final Rating: 4/10 Uterus Burgers.

I'm sorry that there have been so many Lost Episode pastas. The next one I promise will be different.

Power Rangers Lost Episode: The Hidden Ranger

Found on the Creepypasta Wiki
Originally posted by... I'm not sure. I know it got edited at some point, and that it was also the author's first Creepypasta. I'll try to be nice... OK, I won't, but I hope if he finds this he just takes it in stride. XD
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In 2003, Power Rangers was a very popular kid show. In the U.K., it shows like 17 episodes of MMPR but mostly shows In Space.

Alright, I'm sorry, normally I'd joke about how it only shows those tiny bits of Power Rangers, but if all the UK shows is In Space, I might have to move there.

In the U.S. eastern, They were selling Mighty Morphin Power Rangers DVDs on Swap Meet. One shady dude pat on my shoulder and said, "Want some DVDs, they're free."

Note to all future Creepypasta writers, this has been done to death, and all it ever does is make your protagonist look like an idiot.

My dad told me not to take stuff from strangers because you never know what are they're up to.

Your father is a wise man.

I told him sure, which one do you have.

You are not a wise man. Also, I'm sure he'd be very proud of you.

Actually, why did you even mention that part?

He showed me all the DVDs he had.

"It was mostly Pedoporn and Gilmore Girls"

He had Simpsons, Spongebob, Ed Edd N Eddy and Power Rangers episode 0. I didn't know what episode 0 was but I will give it a try.

As someone who has really watched Episode 0 of Power Rangers, it is way more horrific then this Creepypasta.

The shady guy says that it's a good pick because episode 0 was never seen. I asked him what the episode is about. He told me this, "No one knows, you have to figure out yourself." the polite way.

Yeah, instead of saying "I just said no one has ever watched you, you stupid little douche."

When I left, the shady man told me "Have a nice day." then said this in a evil way "or is it".

I'll just let that sentence speak for itself.

I was excited to see this episode 0 of Power Rangers. I watched it with my sister. The episode was playing. At the beginning, it played the intro but, there are Four weird things were happening...

Oh lord, here we go...

One, what happened to all the characters. Two, where's Rita Repulsa at the beginning, isn't she suppose to appear.

Isn't Rita one of the characters, or does she not count because she is the villain?

Three, the intro goes straight to the end of the intro.

So, really, it doesn't show the intro at all.

Four, Why where blood on the Lighting bolt?

WHY WHERE BLOOD ON THE LIGHTING BOLT INDEED!? Man... this... this is great stuff.

Then, this is where things are going to get ugly.

Well, thanks for the warning, but it's hard for me to believe that it's going to get much uglier then this.

It took place at the school. In the classroom, it looks regular the first place but something went even more weird. The scene change to Rita Repulsa's lab but her gang wasn't there and the there was a new ranger in her lab. He was like the green ranger but his suit was black, his shield was white, his helmet was black also, his visor was darkish red, and the white marks on the gloves and boots were red.

All those things were red... like BLUUD I'm assuming?

The devilish voice spoke out the ranger's name.

He said, "Unknown Ranger."

"Please bring all your soul, and spread all of them on earth."

So... wait... he is looking to spread all of his soul on Earth? In my mind, that only brings up two things:

1) He is going to have angels take over the Earth

or 2) He is going to take over the world of music

either way, neither are very scary.

We started to freak out because here's the reason.

One would assume that stating "because" indicates that you are about to state the reason... BUT YOU'RE WRONG!

Since, when do we have an Unknown Ranger on Power Rangers.

Titanium Ranger... Heck, if you really want to get technical, the Psycho Rangers...

Now, here's the part, There was static and the black screen.

Just like almost every lost episode creepypasta ever!?

There were words that appear on the screen. It said this.

"Whenever you go, I go."

Well, that is cryptic, I'll give the writer that much. I STILL don't get what the hell that meant, and this is my 4th time reading this story.

Now the next scene appeared, now it took place in the battle scene. They were suited up for action but things start to get worse.

Not the best thing to tell disenchanted readers.

The Unknown Ranger appeared and the puttys were getting out of his way.

Smartest putties ever.

Then, he attacked Kimberly, the pink ranger. There was black screen flashing for 5 seconds. Then, Kimberly was gone.

Very thankful to be out of this story, I'm sure.

The rangers can't defeat the unknown ranger and the devilish voice said this "You will never win". Then, static appeared again. Now, I found out that the black and yellow ranger was gone, literally. Now, it's just two rangers left. Wait, I thought to myself, if there was only two rangers left, then what happened to Tommy, the green ranger.

Logically speaking, Tommy wouldn't be on the show yet. I'm not even kidding either, if it is Episode 0, Tommy wouldn't of been on the show yet, as he wasn't with the cast at the start. I know I'm being too literal here, but really, do you care? =/

To be honest, the two reasons I hate Lost Episode Creepypastas is because they are all cliche, maybe even more so then the haunted game genre, and because they all use either Ep. 0 or Ep. 666 for the Ep # (if they give it one at all.) The only Lost Episode Creepypasta I remember liking was "Dead Bart" and a reason for that is that it didn't have the cliche episode number.

Anyway, enough of that little rant, back the story...

Now the screen faded to black then defade it to the school hallway. Now, they were unmorphed. When they were walking down the hallway, the Unknown Ranger was stalking him. They were looking back and continue walking. Billy feels like and said that we are being watched.

I assume he said that because he felt like it.

Then, the Unknown Ranger finally appeared in front of them. Finally, they said its Morphin time like regular. They were fighting against him but it was no use.

"Did I mention "We Need A Hero" was playing backwards in the background, because it totally was!"

He was knocked down but wasn't dead yet.

But if he's knocked down, that means that their is a chance that he can be brought to justice. Perhaps this "lost episode" will have a happy ending, truly a first for the genre an-...

He said, "In order to end your nightmare and save your friends. You must sacrifice one of your friends. If you do that, your life will not end." Jason told him that he's sorry and Billy said "wait, what" and threw Billy to the unknown ranger. Static was playing again.


...FUCK!!!!!!!!!

The Unknown Ranger said, "Well done, my friend."

There was purple shadow arms coming out of the floor and carrying Jason up. Jason said: "What are you doing!?". One of the arms were taking his mind away from him. But that's not all, there was screaming during that scene and they get louder and louder and louder then it almost made my ears bleed. The Unknown Ranger was laughing that his soul was finally revived. The school exploded finally.

Because the school exploding is the only logical way for that to end.

Finally, Tommy came and was shocked that the school exploded. The next scene was in the funeral, it showed all the rangers in the cemetery and Tommy was the only one alive with sad music playing. Then, the screen was fading black and the music stopped.

...Not going to try and avenge his friends or anything? Actually, no, please don't.... Because then we will have to bear witness to Ep. 0.5... Or maybe it would be 0.666.

Finally, the last word said this "This tape ends here," With evil laughs playing.

Pretty convenient way to tell you the show is over.

 I took the disc out and put it in the table. I said, "Man, that episode was crazy, good things its over."

Yup, just crazy. Basically, if you were actually into this story at this point, this is the point where you see that it wasn't "scary" or "creepy" just "crazy." That is, unless...

but I figure out that my sister fainted after the episode.

...you are a little girl.

She wake up either. Later, she was sent to the emergency room and, the doctor said that she had a coma.

Despite being awake, the doctor decided she was in a coma. Worst doctor ever.

He also said that you need to destroy that disc, it's a curse.

How the hell does he know!?

Well, if she had a coma then how come nothing happened to me.

Because you are that special and awesome.

When I get back home, the disc wasn't there. Now, I'm completely doomed.

Um... why?

The disc was outside of the house. I was like did the disc teleport itself. I went to the disc and I threw it to the street and the disc breaks. There was a curse coming out of it.

I'm guessing it looked like Squidward with hyper realistic eyes.

Now, my sister woke up from the coma. I was like phew that was close. We went home and now I'm never going to a swap meet again, I also, ran over the disc with my car. After that, I had no trouble, and I had never seen the shaded guy after he gave me the episode.

*sigh* Do all the pastas I do have anticlimactic endings!?
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Final Thoughts: As a fan of both Creepypastas and Power Rangers, I was incredibly disappointed to find this, because I really do think a Power Rangers Creepypasta could work. Looking at the Sentai, there is one very good possibility that I might decide to try and make a Creepypasta out of, but that is besides the point anyway.

This story is pretty poorly written, and had some things that could of worked, but really it just turns into a cliche fest. If the final fight scene is to be believed, the Rangers basically gave up after showing that they had a chance at taking him down, and it seems like the writer was trying to do more then what he is actually capable of. That said, for a 1st Pasta, he could of done far worse, and I hope that he is still writing and improving his skills. The ending COULD of saved this story (well, make it a little better) had the disk just disappeared, but seeing how he found it and destroyed it, the ending just seems very anticlimactic and makes one wonder what the hell was even the point.

Overall Rating: 3/10 Blood stained spandex suits.

By the way, sorry it has been a little while since I've updated... With school winding down, I'm probably going to be updating less frequently for a little while. I'd say that I will probably update twice a week, maybe more maybe less, it just depends.

Changing the format a little bit...

Though the main point of this site will continue to be about smarking lame creepypastas, I've decided to broaden my horizons a little bit and allow myself to do "good" ones...

BTW, if you have a request or anything, please leave a comment or Email me...

Thomas and the Children

Title: Thomas and the Children
Found on the Creepypasta Wiki; Not sure who it is...
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Warning: this story is graphic!

Graphic is the new horrible.

Ever hear of Thomas the tank engine? If you have been around little kids between the ages of two and around seven or so, I'm sure you have.

7 YEAR OLDS WATCH THOMAS THE TRAIN ENGINE! I'm sorry, but I was done with that when I was 4.

My son adored Thomas so much so that he could name every single train, knew what color they were and the number they had painted on them.

He got beat up at school every single day.

I was glad when I heard that he was coming to visit me over the summer but I had a ton of work to do so I bought him a Thomas DVD. The cover looked innocent enough, Thomas was smiling and little wooden children were waving their arms out of the windows in his coaches. The DVD was called Thomas and the Children.

"In hindsight, I think Thomas's eyes may have been missing..."

He was so excited to see the DVD that right off the bat, he pleaded with me to pop it into the DVD player. I went to work while he watched it. After a few hours, he came into my office, looking as pale as a sheet. "Daddy," His voice seemed weak.

"Are you okay?" I said. I touched his head and noticed that his temperature had gone up.

THIS BOY IS ON FIRE!!!!! THIS BOY IS ON FIIIIIRRRRRREEEEEE!!!!

"Why did Thomas kill the children?" My heart sank like a stone but I soon brushed it off.

I would be more shocked and/or appalled, but that is just me. Parents in Creepypastas tend to be REALLY retarded.

After putting him to bed. I got curious as to what he had seen. I popped in the DVD and began to watch the episode play. There was no main menu like most DVDs, it just went straight to the episode. It seemed normal enough, Thomas was told to take a group of children to the seaside by the instructions of Sir Topham Hat.

If I know the internet like I think I do, this either leads to murder or rape...

I noticed something odd though there was no narrator in this episode.

The episode then showed Thomas picking up the little wooden children and showed every single one of them climb onboard. Then there was a scene with him zooming down the rails like he always did and the children were cheering, "but then there was trouble," as they say in the show.

Which means he has watched enough of the show to know one of the show's signature lines... That is more then a little sad once you start thinking about it.

Bertie the bus was stuck on the railway tracks.

Bertie the bus? Wow... I am just now remembering how bad this show sucked.

This is when the episode got strange. Bertie stared at Thomas in fear but the little blue wooden train just smiled and sped up. What was even more disheartening is that he started laughing.

Thomas: *in his mind* Mother fucking bus ruining the train industry... I'll show him...

The children were crying and little tears could be seen painted on their faces.

Look at the creepy crying wooden children... LOOK AT THEM!!!

Thomas crashed into Bertie causing pieces of both of them to go flying everywhere. Usuallly by now the narrator would say, "and luckily no one was hurt," but there was no resurrance for kids.

...Normally, this wouldn't happen in the show... AT ALL!!!!

The episode then showed the carnage on the inside of the coaches. Wooden limps were broken off, what looked like actual blood had been splattered everywhere, heads had been ripped from the bodies of the wooden dolls and worse yet the children still had tears upon their faces.

At the risk of sounding like a heartless douche or whatever, wouldn't you feel a bit more terrified if it was real children, not just dolls that had been splattered?

Everything went to static. After that I felt myself boiling over with anger. What sicko would create something that messed up for little kids? Then I paused the static. Messages started to appear on the screen. Disturbing messages like kill, obey, multiply and die.

So, I guess that leaves their choices for their victims at "eliminate" or "fornicate."


I watched the static for over an hour and noticed at least thirty different messages.

I'm assuming one of them was "Please, for the love of god, don't post this story on the internet!!!"

I threw the accursed thing in the trash after breaking it in half. I would not expose my child to anymore of that trash. Before going to bed myself, I checked him.

Ouch... I'm sure the kid appreciated crashing into a Plexiglas wall (or... whatever the heck hockey walls are made out of.)

He was happily asleep and snoring, clutching his teddy.

I had a nightmares from this, one where the children came into my room but they were life like and as tall as a normal person.

Apparently, the sight of seeing happy children sleeping makes you imagine that they want to kill you. Who'd of thunk?

Their twisted forms grabbed my limbs and pulled me apart, while I heard that blasted train laughing. Now I have woken up, covered in blood, knife in hand and I'm afraid to check my son's room.

...Ok then... I'll just let that ending speak for itself.
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Final Thoughts: For the record, this pasta could of been a lot worse. Thomas the Train Engine is creepy, but not quite creepy enough to earn a pasta. This one is really just your standard "lost episode" type deal, and, I reiterate, it could of been worse. It also doesn't have as many writing fluff ups as a lot of Creepypasta, so there is that. However, the story is still very cliche and pretty predictable. If it was trying to go the horror pasta route, I would of had him wake up while he was killing his son, but I can't really say if that would of made the story better or worse. Thankfully, it is a short read, and it probably took a Thomas creepypasta as far as it could of reasonably gone... Well... I do have one legit complaint.

Those faces in Thomas were creepy as all hell. This pasta would of been scary had he just described the look on Thomas very primitive looking CGI-ish face (I can't remember what technique they used to make those hell spawns...) but instead, it just kind of skims over that option.

Still would of been a strange, mediocre story in the realm of Creepycrapsta.

Final Rating: 3/10 Demonic Trains.

Jeff The Killer

Title: Jeff the Killer
Found: Creepypasta.com Credited to Sessuer
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Excerpt from a local Newspaper:
OMINOUS UNKNOWN KILLER IS STILL AT LARGE.

Correction: CRUMMY OVERRATED CREEPYPASTA STILL TALKED ABOUT ON INTERNET.

After weeks of unexplained murders, the ominous unknown killer is still on the rise. After little evidence has been found, a young boy states that he survived one of the killer’s attacks and bravely tells his story.

Probably seeking the attention his parents never gave him.

“I had a bad dream and I woke up in the middle of the night,” says the boy, “I saw that for some reason the window was open, even though I remember it being closed before I went to bed. I got up and shut it once more. Afterwards, I simply crawled under my covers and tried to get back to sleep. That’s when I had a strange feeling, like someone was watching me. I looked up, and nearly jumped out of my bed. There, in the little ray of light, illuminating from between my curtains, were a pair of two eyes. These weren’t regular eyes; they were dark, ominous eyes. They were bordered in black and… just plain out terrified me. That’s when I saw his mouth. A long, horrendous smile that made every hair on my body stand up.

He looked nothing like the Joker. Nothing at all... Nope...

The figure stood there, watching me. Finally, after what seemed like forever, he said it. A simple phrase, but said in a way only a mad man could speak.

“He said, ‘Go To Sleep.’ I let out a scream, that’s what sent him at me.

He was going to come at you no matter what kid.

He pulled up a knife; aiming at my heart.

I guess he just happened to have a knife lying around in his room at the time.

He jumped on top of my bed. I fought him back; I kicked, I punched, I rolled around, trying to knock him off me. That’s when my dad busted in. The man threw the knife, it went into my dad’s shoulder. The man probably would’ve finished him off, if one of the neighbors hadn’t alerted the police.

“They drove into the parking lot, and ran towards the door. The man turned and ran down the hallway. I heard a smash, like glass breaking. As I came out of my room, I saw the window that was pointing towards the back of my house was broken.

Alright, I know you probably don't see what is wrong with that, but just think about how it's written for a second. "The window pointing towards the back of my house was broken." What that really implies is that you could see the back of his house through the window, not that it was pointing towards his backyard or anything. That... just doesn't make sense.

 I looked out it to see him vanish into the distance.

"I stared at the back wall of my house completely baffled."

 I can tell you one thing, I will never forget that face. Those cold, evil eyes, and that psychotic smile.

Officer: "Are you sure it wasn't the Joker."

Kid: "Yes."

Officer: "Because it really sounds li-..."

Kid: "IT WASN'T THE GOD DAMNED JOKER!!!!"

They will never leave my head.”

I see faces in my head
at night they make me wet the bed
it's pretty sad

Police are still on the look for this man. If you see anyone that fits the description in this story, please contact your local police department.

Several days later, thousands of prank calls were made to this police station...

Jeff and his family had just moved into a new neighborhood.

Thank you for not even trying to segue into that...

 His dad had gotten a promotion at work, and they thought it would be best to live in one of those “fancy” neighborhoods.

They wanted to live near all the snobbish upper class people.

Jeff and his brother Liu couldn’t complain though. A new, better house. What was not to love?

Losing all the friends in your old neighborhood maybe?

As they were getting unpacked, one of their neighbors came by.

“Hello,” she said, “I’m Barbara; I live across the street from you. Well, I just wanted to introduce my self and to introduce my son.” She turns around and calls her son over. “Billy, these are our new neighbors.” Billy said hi and ran back to play in his yard.

Billy completely lost interest in them, a fitting metaphor for losing interest in this story.

“Well,” said Jeff’s mom, “I’m Margaret, and this is my husband Peter, and my two sons, Jeff and Liu.” They each introduced themselves, and then Barbara invited them to her son’s birthday. Jeff and his brother were about to object, when their mother said that they would love to. When Jeff and his family are done packing, Jeff went up to his mom.

“Mom, why would you invite us to some kid’s party? If you haven’t noticed, I’m not some dumb kid.”

"But a dick? That I totally am."

“Jeff,” said his mother, “We just moved here; we should show that we want to spend time with our neighbors. Now, we’re going to that party, and that’s final.” Jeff started to talk, but stopped himself, knowing that he couldn’t do anything. Whenever his mom said something, it was final. He walked up to his room and plopped down on his bed. He sat there looking at his ceiling when suddenly, he got a weird feeling. Not so much a pain, but… a weird feeling.

His mind had wondered to Billy, and there was a strange thing rising in his trousers...

He dismissed it as just some random feeling. He heard his mother call him down to get his stuff, and he walked down to get it.

The next day, Jeff walked down stairs to get breakfast and got ready for school.

What stairs did he walk you ask? Just normal everyday stairs that just so happened to be around at the time.

 As he sat there, eating his breakfast, he once again got that feeling. This time it was stronger. It gave him a slight tugging pain, but he once again dismissed it.

Though he did consider it rubbing it with his hand...

As he and Liu finished breakfast, they walked down to the bus stop. They sat there waiting for the bus, and then, all of a sudden, some kid on a skateboard jumped over them, only inches above their laps. They both jumped back in surprise. “Hey, what the hell?”

I imagine he almost struck that "weird feeling" in Jeff's pants.

The kid landed and turned back to them. He kicked his skate board up and caught it with his hands. The kid seems to be about twelve; one year younger than Jeff. He wears a Aeropostale shirt and ripped blue jeans.

He had mid length black hair with bangs and had a cigerrate in his mouth as well.

“Well, well, well. It looks like we got some new meat.” Suddenly, two other kids appeared. One was super skinny and the other was huge. “Well, since you’re new here, I’d like to introduce ourselves, over there is Keith.” Jeff and Liu looked over to the skinny kid. He had a dopey face that you would expect a sidekick to have.

Because it's impossible to not be a sidekick if you have a dopey face.

“And he’s Troy.” They looked over at the fat kid. Talk about a tub of lard. This kid looked like he hadn’t exercised since he was crawling.

“And I,” said the first kid, “am Randy. Now, for all the kids in this neighborhood there is a small price for bus fare, if you catch my drift.” Liu stood up, ready to punch the lights out of the kid’s eyes when one of his friends pulled a knife on him. “Tsk, tsk, tsk, I had hoped you would be more cooperative, but it seems we must do this the hard way.” The kid walked up to Liu and took his wallet out of his pocket. Jeff got that feeling again. Now, it was truly strong; a burning sensation.

He was going to do things to Randy and enjoy every single minute of it.

He stood up, but Liu gestured him to sit down. Jeff ignored him and walked up to the kid.

“Listen here you little punk, give back my bro’s wallet or else.” Randy put the wallet in his pocket and pulled out his own knife.

...You aren't...

“Oh? And what will you do?” Just as he finished the sentence, Jeff popped the kid in the nose. As Randy reached for his face, Jeff grabbed the kid’s wrist and broke it. Randy screamed and Jeff grabbed the knife from his hand. Troy and Keith rushed Jeff, but Jeff was too quick. He threw Randy to the ground. Keith lashed out at him, but Jeff ducked and stabbed him in the arm. Keith dropped his knife and fell to the ground screaming. Troy rushd him too, but Jeff didn’t even need the knife. He just punched Troy straight in the stomach and Troy went down. As he fell, he puked all over. Liu could do nothing but look in amazement at Jeff.

So... Jeff, a 12 year old kid, just took down 3 kids with knives? What? Does he have Spider Sense or something? I don't care what that "burning feeling" is unless he has superpowers, that just isn't possible.

“Jeff how’d you?” that was all he said. They saw the bus coming and knew they’d be blamed for the whole thing. So they started running as fast as they could. As they ran, they looked back and saw the bus driver rushing over to Randy and the others. As Jeff and Liu made it to school, they didn’t dare tell what happened.

Liu TOTALLY told every freaking kid in that class about it.

 Liu just thought of that as his brother beating up a few kids, but Jeff knew it was more. It was something, scary. As he got that feeling he felt how powerful it was, the urge to just, hurt someone. He didn’t like how it sounded, but he couldn’t help feeling happy.

Even though he thought it was scary, it made him damn happy to know that he was on the track to being a murderer.

He felt that strange feeling go away, and stay away for the entire day of school. Even as he walked home due to the whole thing near the bus stop, and how now he probably wouldn’t be taking the bus anymore, he felt happy. When he got home his parents asked him how his day was, and he said, in a somewhat ominous voice, “It was a wonderful day.”

His parents just smiled and nodded, not thinking anything of that "ominous voice."

Next morning, he heard a knock at his front door. He walked down to find two police officers at the door, his mother looking back at him with an angry look.

“Jeff, these officers tell me that you attacked three kids. That it wasn’t regular fighting, and that they were stabbed. Stabbed, son!” Jeff’s gaze fell to the floor, showing his mother that it was true.

“Mom, they were the ones who pulled the knives on me and Liu.”

His mother didn't believe him for a second

“Son,” said one of the cops,” We found three kids, two stabbed, one having a bruise on his stomach, and we have witnesses proving that you fled the scene. Now, what does that tell us?” Jeff knew it was no use. He could say him and Liu had been attacked, but then there was no proof it was not them who attacked first. They couldn’t say that they weren’t fleeing, because truth be told they were. So Jeff couldn’t defend himself or Liu.

“Son, call down your brother.” Jeff couldn’t do it, since it was him who beat up all the kids.

He didn't want Liu taking any credit for all the badassery Jeff committed.

“Sir, it…it was me. I was the one who beat up the kids. Liu tried to hold me back, but he couldn’t stop me.” The cop looked at his partner and they both nod.

“Well kid, looks like a year in Juvy…”

“Wait!” says Liu.

Who magically popped out of nowhere.

They all looked up to see him holding a knife. The officers pulled their guns and locked them on Liu.

“It was me, I beat up those little punks. Have the marks to prove it.” He lifted up his sleeves to reveal cuts and bruises, as if he was in a struggle.

Wait, if he has marks on his body, wouldn't that be proof enough to argue self-defense?

“Son, just put the knife down,” said the officer.

For that matter, wouldn't a cop normally ask why he did it or at least for some of the story?

Liu held up the knife and dropped it to the ground. He put his hands up and walked over to the cops.

“No Liu, it was me! I did it!” Jeff had tears running down his face.

“Huh, poor bro. Trying to take the blame for what I did. Well, take me away.” The police led Liu out to the patrol car.

Ooorr... wouldn't they take them both away seeing how they are both claiming the other did it? Or wouldn't the description given by the bus driver prove which one of them is more believable, or are they identical twins?

“Liu, tell them it was me! Tell them! I was the one who beat up those kids!”

"Stop trying to take credit for my awesomeness!!!"

Jeff’s mother put her hands on his shoulders.

“Jeff please, you don’t have to lie. We know it’s Liu, you can stop.” Jeff watched helplessly as the cop car speeds off with Liu inside. A few minutes later Jeff’s dad pulled into the driveway, seeing Jeff’s face and knowing something was wrong.

What? was the news of one of his sons potentially being arrested not big enough news to call Dad right away?

“Son, son what is it?” Jeff couldn’t answer. His vocal cords were strained from crying. Instead, Jeff’s mother walked his father inside to break the bad news to him as Jeff wept in the driveway. After an hour or so Jeff walked back in to the house, seeing that his parents were both shocked, sad, and disappointed. He couldn’t look at them. He couldn’t see how they thought of Liu when it was his fault. He just went to sleep, trying to get the whole thing off his mind. Two days went by, with no word from Liu at JDC. No friends to hang out with. Nothing but sadness and guilt. That is until Saturday, when Jeff is woke up by his mother, with a happy, sunshiny face.

The face was actually scarier than the face that this story is known for...

“Jeff, it’s the day.” she said as she opened up the curtains and let light flood into his room.

“What, what’s today?” asked Jeff as he stirs awake.

“Why, it’s Billy’s party.” He was now fully awake.

The mere mention of Billy was enough to bring thoughts rushing to his brain and blood rushing to his...

“Mom, you’re joking, right? You don’t expect me to go to some kid’s party after…” There was a long pause.

“Jeff, we both know what happened. I think this party could be the thing that brightens up the past days.

..."I think this party could be the thing that brightens up the past days." WTF DOES THAT EVEN MEAN!? That this party is going to brighten up the previous days? ...Wow...

Now, get dressed.” Jeff’s mother walked out of the room and downstairs to get ready herself. He fought himself to get up. He picked out a random shirt and pair of jeans and walked down stairs. He saw his mother and father all dressed up; his mother in a dress and his father in a suit. He thought, why they would ever wear such fancy clothes to a kid’s party?

Psh, that's what I'm thinking.

“Son, is that all your going to wear?” said Jeff’s mom.

“Better than wearing too much.” he said. His mother pushed down the feeling to yell at him and hid it with a smile.

Wow... His Mom is kind of a bitch. No wonder this guy is becoming a serial killer...

“Now Jeff, we may be over-dressed, but this is how you go if you want to make an impression.” said his father. Jeff grunted and went back up to his room.

“I don’t have any fancy clothes!” he yelled down stairs.

“Just pick out something.” called his mother.

He did that the first time and all you did was hold make the urge to bitch at him!

He looked around in his closet for what he would call fancy. He found a pair of black dress pants he had for special occasions and an undershirt. He couldn’t find a shirt to go with it though. He looked around, and found only striped and patterned shirts. None of which go with dress pants. Finally he found a white hoodie and put it on.

Ah yes, the "thug with dress pants" look... very nice.

“You’re wearing that?” they both said

They being the striped and patterned shirts, I'm assuming.

His mother looked at her watch. “Oh, no time to change. Let’s just go.” She said as she herded Jeff and his father out the door. They crossed the street over to Barbara and Billy’s house. They knocked on the door and at it appeared that Barbara, just like his parents, way over-dressed.

Oh hahaha, that Barbara, always wacky!!!!!

As they walked inside all Jeff could see were adults, no kids.

It was basically a NAMBLA convention.

“The kids are out in the yard. Jeff, how about you go and meet some of them?” said Barbara.

Jeff walked outside to a yard full of kids. They were running around in weird cowboy costumes and shooting each other with plastic guns.

...I regret making that NAMBLA joke now...

He might as well be standing in a Toys R Us. Suddenly a kid came up to him and handed him a toy gun and hat.

“Hey. Wanna pway?” he said.

I hate this character already. I hope he's next...

“Ah, no kid. I’m way too old for this stuff.” The kid looked at him with that weird puppydog face.

Don't you just want to pet it, Jeff?

“Pwease?” said the kid. “Fine,” said Jeff. He put on the hat and started to pretend shoot at the kids. At first he thought it was totally ridiculous, but then he started to actually have fun.

Because of the gun perhaps?

 It might not have been super cool, but it was the first time he had done something that took his mind off of Liu. So he played with the kids for a while, until he heard a noise. A weird rolling noise. Then it hit him. Randy, Troy, and Keith all jumped over the fence on their skateboards. Jeff dropped the fake gun and ripped off the hat. Randy looked at Jeff with a burning hatred.

How in the hell did they know he was there? What, have they been stalking him ever since they got their asses kicked!?

“Hello, Jeff, is it?” he said. “We have some unfinished business.” Jeff saw his bruised nose.” I think we’re even. I beat the crap out of you, and you get my brother sent to JDC.”

Well, actually your brother kind of get himself sent to JDC.

Randy got an angry look in his eyes. “Oh no, I don’t go for even, I go for winning. You may have kicked our asses that one day, but not today.” As he said that Randy rushed at Jeff. They both fell to the ground. Randy punched Jeff in the nose, and Jeff grabbed him by the ears and head butted him. Jeff pushed Randy off of him and both rose to their feet. Kids were screaming and parents were running out of the house. Troy and Keith both pulled guns out of their pockets.

“No one interrupts or guts will fly!” they said. Randy pulled a knife on Jeff and stabbed it into his shoulder.

For some reason the parents listen, not a single one of them thinking to call law enforcement.

Jeff screamed and fell to his knees. Randy started kicking him in the face. After three kicks Jeff grabs his foot and twists it, causing Randy to fall to the ground. Jeff stood up and walked towards the back door. Troy grabbed him.

“Need some help?” He picks Jeff up by the back of the collar and throws him through the patio door. As Jeff tries to stand he is kicked down to the ground. Randy repeatedly starts kicking Jeff, until he starts to cough up blood.

The parents begin rooting this on, as the environment slowly begins to turn into that of a WWE show.

“Come on Jeff, fight me!” He picks Jeff up and throws him into the kitchen. Randy sees a bottle of vodka on the counter and smashes the glass over Jeff’s head.

“Fight!” He throws Jeff back into the living room.

“Come on Jeff, look at me!” Jeff glances up, his face riddled with blood. “I was the one who got your brother sent to JDC! And now you’re just gonna sit here and let him rot in there for a whole year! You should be ashamed!” Jeff starts to get up.

“Oh, finally! you stand and fight!” Jeff is now to his feet, blood and vodka on his face. Once again he gets that strange feeling, the one in which he hasn’t felt for a while.

"Oh of all the times this could happen..." Jeff thought to himself before trying to conceal the small pecker protruding from his pants...

“Finally. He’s up!” says Randy as he runs at Jeff. That’s when it happens. Something inside Jeff snaps. His psyche is destroyed, all rational thinking is gone, all he can do, is kill. He grabs Randy and pile drives him to the ground. He gets on top of him and punches him straight in the heart. The punch causes Randy’s heart to stop. As Randy gasps for breath. Jeff hammers down on him. Punch after punch, blood gushes from Randy’s body, until he takes one final breath, and dies.

That was a really anticlimactic ending to an otherwise decent fight scene.

Everyone is looking at Jeff now. The parents, the crying kids, even Troy and Keith. Although they easily break from their gaze and point their guns at Jeff.

The parents resume cheering instead of calling 911...

Jeff see’s the guns trained on him and runs for the stairs. As he runs Troy and Keith let out fire on him, each shot missing. Jeff runs up the stairs. He hears Troy and Keith follow up behind. As they let out their final rounds of bullets Jeff ducks into the bathroom. He grabs the towel rack and rips it off the wall. Troy and Keith race in, knives ready.

Troy swings his knife at Jeff, who backs away and bangs the towel rack into Troy’s face. Troy goes down hard and now all that’s left is Keith. He is more agile than Troy though, and ducks when Jeff swings the towel rack. He dropped the knife and grabbed Jeff by the neck. He pushed him into the wall. A thing of bleach fell down on top of him from the top shelf.

A thing of bleach? What kind of thing? No one knows, it can be whatever you want. Get creative and fill in the blank: _______ of bleach.

Jeff wiped his eyes as best as he could. He pulled back the towel rack and swung it straight into Keith’s head. As he lay there, bleeding to death, he let out an ominous smile.

“What’s so funny?” asked Jeff. Keith pulled out a lighter and switched it on. “What’s funny,” he said, “Is that you’re covered in bleach and alcohol.” Jeff’s eyes widened as Keith threw the lighter at him. As soon as the flame made contact with him, the flames ignited the alcohol in the vodka. While the alcohol burned him, the bleach bleached his skin. Jeff let out a terrible screech as he caught on fire. He tried to roll out the fire but it was no use, the alcohol had made him a walking inferno. He ran down the hall, and fell down the stairs. Everybody started screaming as they saw Jeff, now a man on fire, drop to the ground, nearly dead. The last thing Jeff saw was his mother and the other parents trying to extinguish the flame. That’s when he passed out.

Well... you know what; this story wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be. Sure, it had some fluff ups and a depressing ending bu-...

When Jeff woke he had a cast wrapped around his face.

Damn it...

He couldn’t see anything, but he felt a cast on his shoulder, and stitches all over his body. He tried to stand up, but he realized that there was some tube in his arm, and when he tried to get up it fell out, and a nurse rushed in.

“I don’t think you can get out of bed just yet.” she said as she put him back in his bed and re-inserted the tube. Jeff sat there, with no vision, no idea of what his surroundings were. Finally, after hours, he heard his mother.

“Honey, are you okay?” she asked. Jeff couldn’t answer though, his face was covered, and he was unable to speak. “Oh honey, I have great news. After all the witnesses told the police that Randy confessed of trying to attack you, they decided to let Liu go.”

After all the witnesses told that Randy, now dead, confessed, the police simply had to believe them instead of question and investigate his murder any further.

This made Jeff almost bolt up, stopping halfway, remembering the tube coming out of his arm. “He’ll be out by tomorrow, and then you two will be able to be together again.”

Jeff’s mother hugs Jeff and says her goodbyes. The next couple of weeks were those where Jeff was visited by his family. Then came the day where his bandages were to be removed. His family were all there to see it, what he would look like. As the doctors unwrapped the bandages from Jeff’s face everyone was on the edge of their seats. They waited until the last bandage holding the cover over his face was almost removed.

I think we all know where this is going...

“Let’s hope for the best,” said the doctor.

Doctors: Setting up people for disappointment since 1926

He quickly pulls the cloth; letting the rest fall from Jeff’s face.

And may the "OMG HE IS SO UGLY!" fest being.

Jeff’s mother screams at the sight of his face. Liu and Jeff’s dad stare awe-struck at his face.

“What? What happened to my face?” Jeff said. He rushed out of bed and ran to the bathroom. He looked in the mirror and saw the cause of the distress. His face. It…it’s horrible. His lips were burnt to a deep shade of red. His face was turned into a pure white color, and his hair singed from brown to black.

For some reason, he considered dying it purple.

He slowly put his hand to his face. It had a sort of leathery feel to it now. He looked back at his family then back at the mirror.

“Jeff,” said Liu, “It’s not that bad….”

“Not that bad?” said Jeff,” It’s perfect!” His family were equally surprised. Jeff started laughing uncontrollably His parents noticed that his left eye and hand were twitching

...Do I HAVE to make another Joker reference?

“Okay? I’ve never felt more happy! Ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaa, look at me. This face goes perfectly with me!” He couldn’t stop laughing. He stroked his face feeling it. Looking at it in the mirror. What caused this? Well, you may recall that when Jeff was fighting Randy something in his mind, his sanity, snapped. Now he was left as a crazy killing machine, that is, his parents didn’t know.

They didn't even suspect that maybe their child is a psychotic killer after seeing him kill 3 kids and then think that a face that only Michael Jackson could love was perfect!

“Doctor,” said Jeff’s mom, “Is my son… alright, you know. In the head?”

“Oh yes, this behavior is typical for patients that have taken very large amounts of pain killers.

Funny, I always thought that pain killers made people more dazed then completely flipping nuts.

If his behavior doesn’t change in a few weeks, bring him back here, and we’ll give him a psychological test.”

“Oh thank you doctor.” Jeff’s mother went over to Jeff.” Jeff, sweety. It’s time to go.”

Wow. She was assured pretty quickly.

Jeff looks away from the mirror, his face still formed into a crazy smile. "Kay mommy, ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaa!" his mother took him by the shoulder and took him to get his clothes.

"This is what came in," said the lady at the desk. Jeff's mom looked down to see the black dress pants and white hoodie her son wore. Now they were clean of blood and now stitched together. Jeff's mother led him to his room and made him put his clothes on. Then they left, not knowing that this was their final day of life.

Ah, foreshadowing with the subtly of a five year old.

Later that night, Jeff's mother woke to a sound coming from the bathroom. It sounded as if someone was crying. She slowly walked over to see what it was. When she looked into the bathroom she saw a horrendous sight. Jeff had taken a knife and carved a smile into his cheeks.

Is this where Flashpoint got that idea from?

"Jeff, what are you doing?" asked his mother.

She's taking the whole "son carving smile in face with knife thing" pretty well if that was her reaction.

Jeff looked over to his mother. "I couldn't keep smiling mommy. It hurt after awhile. Now, I can smile forever. Jeff's mother noticed his eyes, ringed in black.

Jeff's Mother: Did you raid my eye shadow?

Jeff: ...Maybe...

"Jeff, your eyes!" His eyes were seemingly never closing.

"I couldn't see my face. I got tired and my eyes started to close. I burned out the eyelids so I could forever see myself; my new face."

I guess he also planned on just standing at the mirror for the rest of his life.

"Yes son," she said, "Yes you are. L-let me go get daddy, so he can see your face." She ran into the room and shook Jeff's dad from his sleep. "Honey, get the gun we....."

WOW! Jumping right to killing your mentally scarred son!? I'm starting to think you deserve what is coming to you.

"Mommy, you lied." That's the last thing they hear as Jeff rushes them with the knife, gutting both of them.

I would probably want to kill them too, considering they were looking to blast his brains out with a 12 gauge... Well, I'm assuming as such anyway.

His brother Liu woke up, startled by some noise. He didn't hear anything else, so he just shut his eyes and tried to go back to sleep. As he was on the border of slumber, he got the strangest feeling that someone was watching him. He looked up, before Jeff's hand covered his mouth. He slowly raised the knife ready to plunge it into Liu. Liu thrashed here and there trying to escape Jeff's grip.

"Shhhhhhh," Jeff said. "Just go to sleep."

Worst one liner to end a creepypasta ever...
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Final Thoughts: I want everyone to understand that I'm not saying that this story completely sucks, but I do think it has been overblown by a lot of people. It is far from one of the best Creepypastas ever. The story has a lot of writing fluff ups and is a pretty cliche horror story, and I don't find Jeff the Killer to be particularly interesting or original. I know this is just one opinion, and if you actually enjoyed this story then good for you, but I never found this to be particularly engaging. In fact, I found the Pasta to be pretty disappointing because the picture is much creepier. Again, it is not bad, just far from great, and it is how overrated this story has become that makes it Creepycrapsta.

Final Rating: 6/10 Overrated serial killers inspired by Batman villains.

No update today...

I did work on something, but I need one more day to ensure it is up to snuff...

For now...

Just...

Go...

To...

Sleep...

<_<

Conker's Worst Fur Day

Found on the Creepypasta Wiki posted by Ralzor123
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Well, I am so scared right now.

Glad I'm not the only one...\

 I just played a fucked up game/ROM called Conker's Worst Fur Day. Anyways, I guess I should tell you my story.

No... No you probably shouldn't. I'm guessing you found this ROM from some sort of suspicious website, and that, because you are an idiot, you downloaded it anyway. I think I know your story buddy...

When I was younger, I owned a N64, and for my birthday I got a game called Conker's Bad Fur Day.
It was a game meant for adults due to swearing, blood, nudity, sexual references, etc. But my parents just saw the cover and thought oh this looks like a cute game, perfect for our son's birthday! (update: My parents got me a used copy of the game, and they probobally didn't see the rating, because it was smaller on the cartridge.)

It was "smaller" on the cartridge. Unless you got a bootleg label, I don't see how that is possible. I guess we also should assume that they didn't see the box for it, which clearly reads: Warning This Game is Not For Anyone Under 17.

Anyways I used to love that game (I did NOT tell my parents about it because I knew they would return it.). Anyways, I loved playing through it and I laughed a lot. (I would have laughed more if i knew what some of the jokes meant before.)

Huh, finally something in this story that makes sense.

Okay, so earlier today, I was watching a YouTube video about Sonic. And I came across a video called "Eggman is the Great Mighty Poo". I knew I heard that somewhere, then I saw something called "Conker's Bad Fur Day: Great Mighty Poo".

If he loved the game so much, I'd like to think he'd of knew that the Great Mighty Poo was from Conker's instantly as, to be honest, it's the most memorable part of the game.

Okay, so after seeing this I thought "Hey, I remember this game!". Suddenly I felt an extremely big urge to play the game. I had already had an N64 emulator (Project 64), which I used to relive games like Mario 64, Zelda, etc.

"I would go onto write Mario 6664 and a really bad rehash of Majora's Mask that ends when the Zelda statue kills Link in a super mega duper hyper realistic bloodbath. It was great!"

So I googled Conker rom. Exactly like that. After, I hit I'm feeling lucky, I don't remember the site name, because I wanted to play the game. It opened a near blank page with just a button in the middle that said "Download: Conker's Worst Fur Day.zip", I know it sounds dumb that I didn't notice that the name was odd, but I clicked the button anyway. It began to download.

1) My guess about how you got the rom was right
2) I do have to give him credit for admitting it was dumb.

When it was done I started playing. It didn't open with the cute jumping N64 logo, and conker cutting it in half with a chainsaw, It started with a grey squirrel (Like the one in the bar on the main menu.) running in a poorly lit room, then a mangled, bloody, wounded Conker appeared behind him and sawed him in half with a chainsaw spilling guts, bones, etc. everywhere. Then Conker looked at the screen with his torn up bloody face, and said "You're in for HELL, fucker."... The voice of Conker seemed off. It was a lot deeper, and the audio quality was very bad.

Oh lord... here we go...

The strange thing was that in Conker the word Fuck is censored, but in this rom it wasn't.

The severly wounded Conker telling you that you are in for hell though with a demonic voice after cutting a grey squirrel in half with bodily fluids going everywhere, that was totally normal.

 I didn't realize this at first, and damn, that was that a bad idea to keep going with the rom.

I'm assuming he also didn't realize that the opening of the game was all violent and shit.

Anyway the game started with Conker entering the bar as usual, but instead of the menu showing up, when Conker entered the bar all you could hear was loud, eerie, depressing, moaning. I instantly turned down the volume, because I am very paranoid of certain sounds, moaning relates to an incident that dates back to my childhood, and a scary movie.

When he got older he would get scared everytime he tried to pleasure a woman, because she would let out very depressing moans also. Also, I'm assuming the "scary movie" was actually kinky porn.

Then out from under the door of the bar, blood started seeping through and mixing in the puddles from the rain. Then the screen faded out to black. Then it showed the beginning area where you start the game and you have the hangover. "Finally I can play!" I thought. That was not a good thing.

You're right. If you couldn't play, this story would already be over.

Anyways I started but there was no cutscene and Conker was fine. I pressed B and Conker swung a chainsaw, then put it away.

HOLD UP!!!! You just said that you were playing this on a ROM. How are you capable of pressing B? Did you set up the keyboard to be like the N64 controller... Because that is a horrible layout. I know that is a minor nitpick, but damn it, I don't care...

Cool, I get a chainsaw instead of a faggy frying pan. Anyways I jumped the fence to speak to birdy. But, when I walked up to him Conker looked at him and said "Hey, shit head. Give me some help." then birdy the scarecrow looked at him and said "Why the fuck do you need anything. You know how to play moron."

Alright, that did make me chuckle.

WTF? I thought. I just took a breath and continued, It was true... I learned the controls by running around a bit, before talking to birdy. Then Conker looked at birdy and said "You fucking shit hole. I'll cut your fucking head off." then a lightbulb appeared above conker's head. I pressed B then the game entered a cutscene.

It was very dark for some reason, and the place was only illuminated by constant lightning flashes. Anyhow the game just flashed a picture Conker killing birdy with his chainsaw.

Worst... Cutscene... Ever...

Then the same conker voice said "Rot in Hell, fucker.", although the game still showed the dark room. After, Conker suddenley appeared in the black area, then I got to play again, then I noticed that this was the same place where birdy was, but birdy was gone now.

Because he's dead dumbshit.

I made my way up the mountain path, but the gargoyle was not there, and for some odd reason, there was a strange hissing noise in the background, so I headed in the cave. I was expecting to appear in the bright happy field with the Nasty, or Nice fork in the road. But instead conker entered the path up to the haunted house. I walked up but I forgot about the skeleton snakes, and got attacked by one, but instead of being chewed up and spit out, it showed the snake put conker on the ground and start mauling him, biting him over and over, revealing his guts, bones, and eyes start spilling out.

Wait, no blood!? What kind of creepypasta writer are you!? Certainly not a talented one.

Then the skeleton snake let out a demonic cry, then jumped out of the road and dug back into the ground. I was waiting for the game to restart back at the checkpoint, but instead it showed a fucked up hurt, bloody, wounded, conker in a seemingly endless room, filled with zombies (like from the graveyard level.). It showed Conker on the ground, guts, blood, etc. lying all around him. Then it showed his face. I got so shocked from the scene, I turned around and let my stomach settle.

Because, compared to everything else, this was just too much.

Then I looked back at the cut up, bloody, conker face. He was missing his eyes and it showed empty sockets.

Oh god... the Conker plushy is behind you!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then after he let out a moan he said "You never know... a goo... a good... thing... until... until it... it is... GONE!". When Conker said gone it was so loud and terrifying I shut off the sound. The sound startled me so badly, I nearly pissed myself, so I ran to the bathroom, and returned.

He was just trying to emphasis that this sick, demented, and mentally scarring version of "Conker's Bad Fur Day" has a morale... for some reason. No need to run you pussy. Also, if you were really that scared, why not... I don't know... TURN THE GAME OFF!?!?!?

The zombies faced the screen and started walking towards it. Then I tried pressing B. When I did a shotgun was pulled out, (the game seemed like a first person shooter, so it was like halo sort of.)

Only with N64 graphics, a normal everyday shotgun, a nearly dead squirrel, and a bunch of zombies. Almost just like Halo!

I pressed z and it fired a shot holding off the zombies. I remembered that in Conker, zombies must get a head shot to die. So I killed them one by one until there were no more. Suddenly the conker head began to moan a little bit, so, I ran over, knowing I would have to see the head, but I felt like I had to do it.

You just had to press your face in front of the screen to see Conker's mutilated face... It just wouldn't be stupid dramatic enough otherwise.

 The screen showed Conker's head lying there, and he said

How dare you make me the main character of this shitty story you mother fucking cunt!?

"Do...Don't 
be...be...like...me...learn...to..to...love...and...don't...love...money...be...be...kind...promise...me..you...will...do...this."

...

The game didn't do anything, and by now I had tears running down my face, and, I nodded my head. Then Conker's head let out one last gasp and said "Good.", now it sounded like conker, then the screen darkened out and the emulator closed it's self.

So... he gave you that lesson while still speaking in his demonic voice? =/ Ok then.

Then I deleted the rom and turned off my computer. Even now I can still hear his voice, echoing in the back of my head, but I know that rom was a message to me, I used to be greedy, I was a porn addict, etc

That further backs up my idea of his fear of moaning coming from a kinky porno. Also, if you are going to have a moral lesson, a "bad guy scared straight" type story, don't pull the bad qualities completely out of left field.

So, Let it also be a message to you. Okay?

No. It is not OK.

Good.

Go fuck yourself.

UPDATE:

SHIT! IT'S NOT OVER YET!?

I've tried to return to the site that had the rom on it, but I managed to get the rom out of the recycling bin, I can only get a screen shot of the rom, for some reason, when I try to load the rom I get a window that says Error: Attempt to open zip file failed. I've tried to extract the file, but that didn't work, so I got it onto my new computer, and it still doesn't work. I am not going to upload the rom, either, Nobody deserves to go through the same thing I did.

Thank god, otherwise this story might have a sequel.
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Final thoughts: This story, to be fair, doesn't have as many grammatical errors as other bad creepypastas on the web, and it did have one somewhat humorous bit. However, it's not really creepy in the least bit, and it tries to scare you using the "violence is scary" chain of thought, which sadly a lot of creepypastas fall into the trap of. The "lesson" of the Creepypasta just seems so... unneeded. Perhaps in the hands of a more capable writer, this could have worked, but as is this story is just really lame. I can't even call it hilariously bad, as it is overall just a boring story with barely passable grammar and violence.

Rating: 2/10 mutilated squrriel heads.

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